AWWWW.

he was desperate to read my blog. so heres to him. HELLO ALLY. HAHAHAHA!!!! (:

family

hello love ones.

i havent blogged for a few months and tons have happened. i think i was so caught up with my 'without job- without a school' scenario that i even forgot to mention i lost my first ever close kin.
GRANDPA'S STORY : gong's been suffering from really bad chest pains and had lost a substantial amount of weight. he finally went for a thorough check up and was admitted to the hospital. all these while, popo was doing really well! she wasnt her senile state as before and her sugar level went down alot. anyway. on jan 9th. gong's test results were out and it stated he was diagnosed with advanced stage lung cancer. (you must be thinking. my grandpa was a smoker.) well, he was. but he quit a few years back. anyway. he was devastated. who would have thought. grandma being the one in and out of hospital for the past 3 years. and then suddenly the news of my grandpa came in. 2 days before grandpa passed away, i stayed overnight at the hospital with him. and memories of him taking care of me when i was a kid came back.
i remember when i was in primary school, in the afternoon session, gong would come by to send me to the school bus. i would do my homework in the living room and he'd be a few feet away from me doing his daily 'qigong' workout. but that night at the hospital. it just felt so weird. from the date of jan 9th to the day of feb 18th, he went from a normal looking walking state to a bed-ridden helpless old man. i'll never forget the night i gave him a neck massage. and i'll never forget the next day when he cried in front of everyone. the man who was always strict and full of pride. actually cried his heart out to everyone.
anyway. at that point in time of my grandpa's unfortunate period, i was actually dating this dude. whom i would refer as one of the shit holes ive met before now. he decides to bail on me during my refusal of acceptance of my grandpa's sickness and the funeral. you know what shit hole? seriously. go hit your head with a frying pan. crap shit. argh.
and yea. po's been taking it quite badly. grandparents were a match-made couple but a perfect one. gong and po's 60th anniversary was supposed to be this dec. but apparently, gong couldnt hold that much longer.

a shout out to my grandpa : one of the most respectable men ive ever known and love. without you, my mandarin would be really like crap! haha seriously. please bless po from up there. and you know we love you always. xoxo.

PS. and oh people. my lasalle's interview's next month! (on the 6th of june. my GRANDPA'S bdae. what are the odds man.) wish me good luck yea. (:

RAHHHH!

its 10:06am now and im angry! okay. maybe not ANGRY ANGRY but. im bloody annoyed?
i just called Sp (Singapore Poly)'s admission office. and its reallyyyyy ridiculous that, DO YOU KNOW, as long as you dont have a certificate (other than the O's.) there is no other way you can go through a direct entry to year 2 or whatsoever. LIKE WHYYYYY!!!!
im fr a freaking arts school, ive gone throught the shit of foundation year and another half year of 2nd year and YOU WANT ME TO GO THROUGH THE SAME SHIT AGAIN FROM YEAR ONE IN A POLY? its not like i studied arts and am intending to enrol into a business course. but its like from arts to another arts course!
okay. i know. im behaving like a 5 year old whinny kid now. but seriously im feeling sooooo grumpy now man.
i am so not ready for enrolment to Lasalle! not even like 30 percent!
my work has been done. my research NOTHING. ZERO. NOTHING. I AM SO DEAD. DIE.
i still havent gotten a freaking job. or maybe im just being fussy. i think i need a slap to wake myself up man.
its 10 in the morning and im listening to Showtek. some hardstyle dude. like WOAH. hardstyle really wakes you up in the morning.
and oh. i miss my specs. the huge ones. AHHHHHH. so sad so sad! and the best part. i dont even know where i left them! if only i could get 100 bucks everytime i lose something. i might just be really rich really.
anywoo. many are 'envy' of my past few mths bumming at home. how weird is this.
youre envious of people out there studying or working and earning a living while people are envious of you sticking your butt to the sofa. what are the chances of that happening.

OH GOD. I NEED TO GET MY FREAKING LIFE BACK ON TRACK!!!! roar. slaps.

i know. my post. so random again right. :]

random.

You know, ive just realized by spending nearly 2 hrs at a bus stop alone at 1ish in the morning can make you think abt a whole lot of stuffs?
From family to friends to lovers to school to EVERYTHINGGG.
Which in fact, kinda sucked cause youve smoked 3 sticks and you feel ubberly thirsty yet you cant get water cause youre afraid you might miss the bus. And then you get his semi drunk chinese girl with an amercian accent talking to you on how singapore boys are horrible and she wished she wasnt attached to one currently now. (and because of her, i missed my first bus.) and then 2 of her friends came along and joined us at the 'bus stop gathering', 2 really hot boys who are obviously eurasians and thank god they are not semi drunk like her. So we just started entertaining her back with her logics abt how foreign boys are always better than the singapore boys. (no comments.)
And did i add that i nearly got dragged by her to st james from zouk just because she finds my eyelashes amazingly long and she started calling me Ms Pretty Eyelashes. HAHAHA. Of course i gave some lame excuses that i had to rush home to finish a school project which was due like tmr when its is definitely *coughs* BULLSH*T *coughs*.
And yes. i felt pathetic and depressed all at the same time during that 2 hrs.
So pleaseeee, dont try this people. it automatically puts you into depressive mode by spending more than an hour at an area by yourself. Do not say youve not be warned.

.

For each forgotten kiss, for all the memories
For all the times you look, say all you had to say
You played your part so well, a modern romeo
You came on cupid's wings, and then you flew away.
You touched my face, you called my name
Burned with desire,
But you left me in the rain.

diaper boy! heh.

The story about a lil boy wanting to be KING. and a lil squirrel. whee.

hoo.

lovers and friends.

you should just walk away.

why make yourself feel this way?
when you could just walk away.
why get yourself in this miserable crap.
when you could just walk away.

when the heart gets weakened yet the habit is still there,
you told yourself you would do better alone.
then why dont you just walk away?
yet the next day, you tell yourself 'today would be better'.
but things just dont go your way.
maybe its time to walk away.

the longing to see her is no longer there.
the light behind her has dimmed away.
yet the misery just keeps increasing day by day.
so why dont you just walk away?

ps. just so you know, i'd be here always. (:

.

late nights. early mornings.
lonely bus rides.
mind bobbling. thoughts spinning.
longing to close my eyes.
walking that path that seems forever.
that hand.
feels so safe when i slip mine in yours.
the lips that taste like sugar.

bring me somewhere far away would you?

sex.love.drugs.

Those days.

*The day when it felt so grey and blue.
*When time felt annoyingly slow.
*Your mum decides to be the bitch-friend for the day.
*Your dad turns his back on you.
*Feels like your friends are miles away.
*The hate-list seems to be increasing in names.
*When you fall, and theres no one there.

nah. im just ranting. or. just rambling nonsense. dont mind me.
mid-life crisis. hurhur.

typo error in THE CHAIR DRAGGER.

Soooo. as I was saying about this Indian bitch. (No. I'm not racist. She just so happen to be an Indian.) First 15 minutes, the people who occupied the few tables in front of me left. She came, and did what she was supposed to do as a mcdonald's staff. Cleared the trays, cleaned the tables, etc etc. I knew she wanted to arrange the chairs in a 'neater' manner. But she had to go it the draggy-ghetto style yolllll. Fuck. Didn't she know she was annoying the shit out of some people here? Just imagine. She 'arranges' the chairs every 15 minutes. And while doing so, she had to drag them. (ONE BY ONE.) OH MY GODDD. You may think I'm a whinny drama mama but really she was annoying me. BIG TIME.

(yeah this was what it was supposed to look like. (: )

The chair dragger.

There she was. Looking all grumpy and all. And guess whats her favourite hobby ? DRAGGING CHAIRS. Yes. I’m talking about this infamous Indian bitch working in mcdonald’s at kap aka King Albert Park.

Yo woman. If you hate this job so much working in a fast food chain (which I think she was judging by how grumpy she looked) quit the mother f**king job then! Argh. Never mind about the grumpy face. Lets go on to the why she was annoying the shit out of me today. Or more like for the past 4 hours.

Firstly it doesn’t help that I was frigging trying to get through the wireless network here. (Which frigging sucks seriously.) I was well, disconnected multiple times during these 4 hours. And it doesn’t get any better when I had to keep restarting my lappy many times because of the ‘ANOMALOUS BEHAVIOUR’ blablablabla. And that I was using windows vista which in fact is bloody laggy. So yeah. I was reallyyyyy agitated.

Soooo. As I was mentioning about this indian bitch. (No. I’m not racist. She just so happen to be an Indian.) First 15 minutes, the people who occupied the few tables in front of me left. She came, and did what she was supposed to do as a mcdonald’s staff. Cleared the trays, cleaned the people here? Just imagine. She ‘arranges ‘ the chairs every 15 minutes. And while doing so, she table, etc etc. I knew she wanted to arrange the chairs in a ‘neater’ manner. But she had to do it the draggy-ghetto style yollll. Fuck. Didn’t she know she was annoying the shit out of some had to drag them. OH MY GODDD. You may think I’m a whinny drama mama but really she was annoying me. BIG TIME.

Walao. Kiss my a** you w**re.

Yeah. I'm an angry kid. HIT ME.

wawa.

im going to kidnap her and make her my slave. :D

ed.

a guy who looks like that and reads. alot.

now. how sexy is thattttt. dangg.

moron.

yessss. yet another bitching / hatred entry about someone.
if i could really say anything to her, i would probaby say

* are you like some fucking retard or smth?
* you are seriously one heck of a KAPO bitch.
* oh. you talking to me? nah. im not interested.
* seriously. whether i pass my subject or not, its really non of your business. so please. do talk to the hand.
* oh. did anyone tell you that eyeliner on you just looks deathly horrifying and that you should just go ahead without any make-up cause you shouldn waste your parents' money since its not doing you any good?

yea. probably i'll say all that.
but nooooo. im soooo niceee. i'll spare her the sarcasm.
(lord. dont let hell break loose. amen.)

ahem ahem.

life.

i was talking about smth. and then my friend said :

"everybody is living a lie. everybody is destructive and a failure..it's ingrained inside us as humans. some ppl seek religion to distract themselves from real problems..some people find a crutch in alcohol..random sex..or any destructive behaviors..life is pretty circular that way."

i dont know man. i just liked how it sounded.

jacque-ke-lynnnnnn

i <3>

the sex-exchange.

a very random conversation a friend of mine and i had.
hohoho.
im supposed to be a bimbotic girl trying to get tricked in flashing infront of a webcam by this very perv-ish guy. haha.
as said, the sex exchange. so im the guy. and my friend (a male, DUH) will act as the girl. hehhh.

my friend's why?
and im hotchip. :D enjoy.

why? says:
ok come
why? says:
lets try
why? says:
*changed mode
why? says:
mmm...
why? says:
why do u ask me whether im nude or not..
why? says:
i mean..
why? says:
i dont have to tell u right...?
why? says:
(ok talk to me like ur a guy)
hotchip. says:
HAHAHAHAHA
hotchip. says:
come on. just for funn..
why? says:
mm..
hotchip. says:
(do i sound like a guy?)
why? says:
dont want la~ my boyfriend wouldnt be happy if i tell u ...
why? says:
(yea irritating enough)
why? says:
im still wearing my nightie..
why? says:
happy?`
why? says:
~
why? says:
shhh...
why? says:
u huh.. dont ask so much liao lar...
hotchip.says:
come on. nobody will know.
why? says:
wei.. u ask so much...
hotchip. says:
its just a secret between you and me
why? says:
dont tell me u are nude ar....
why? says:
aiyo...
why? says:
choi choi..
hotchip. says:
wa. nightie ah. so sexyy
hotchip. says:
i like.
hotchip. says:
(HAHAHAHA!!!!)
why? says:
(wtf)
why? says:
huh... normal what..
why? says:
i wear it at home... nth special...
hotchip. says:
what you wearing now? are you wearing a bra?
why? says:
mmm..
why? says:
wei!!
why? says:
dont ask this kind of questions can!!!
hotchip. says:
you know, im typing with one hand now.
why? says:
(WAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAA)
hotchip. says:
(fuck. this is damn funny)
why? says:
(ya ur one hand shit)
why? says:
dont ask this kind of questions la..
hotchip. says:
you know what does it mean?
why? says:
wah liew..
why? says:
i know la i know!!
why? says:
ur masturbating right.......................
why? says:
(extended periods work well)
hotchip. says:
sweetie. youre so smart.
hotchip. says:
wanna help me with it? hehe.
why? says:
no!!!
why? says:
aiyo
why? says:
dont be crazy.....
hotchip. says:
(HAHAHAH. i fucking cant stand it when people call me sweetie.)
why? says:
y are u masturbating............ i nv do anything.....
hotchip. says:
why not? i dont tell your bf. no one will know what.
why? says:
hiyo.. dont make me shy can....
why? says:
i nv talk like this before....
why? says:
y u masturbate now... dont masturbate can.....
why? says:
make my thoughts wander .... =(
why? says:
*sobs ... bully me...
hotchip. says:
so you like me masturbating now?
why? says:
ermm........
why? says:
wei..........
why? says:
=(
hotchip. says:
you like me hard?
hotchip. says:
(HAHAHAHA!!!!!)
why? says:
(hahahaha man u rock at this)
why? says:
i dont know ......
why? says:
can we dont talk about this?
hotchip. says:
(i know! im so gonna put this acting scene on myblog. you rock man. but do you mind?)
why? says:
(no names no pictures =p)
hotchip. says:
come on. i know you like a guy's dick to be so hard and long. and you can suck me dry.
why? says:
(wah u are damn raw man hahahahahahahahahaha)
hotchip. says:
(erm. your why? is not a name what. hah.)
why? says:
mmm...
hotchip. says:
(im so having fun man. <3)
why? says:
do u always talk to other girls like that? =(
why? says:
(trying to see if she is 'special')
hotchip. says:
no. youre the first one. i promise. (:
hotchip. says:
you dont have to do anything i get turned on already.
why? says:
huh... really....
hotchip. says:
i wanna hug you close to me and MAKE LOVE to you.
hotchip. says:
(HAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!)
why? says:
dont want.....
why? says:
aiyo dont make me so shy can.....
why? says:
how come u request to show me ur cam......
why? says:
what are u going to show me.....
why? says:
huh............
hotchip. says:
show you smth really nice. you sure like. come on baby.
why?
says:
*accepts the webcam..
hotchip. says:
(HAHAHAHAHAHAH. im laughing my ass off. )
why? says:
why cannot see ur face.....
why? says:
wei... where are u .....
why? says:
(wahaha why cannot see ur face hahaha)
why? says:
how come u're topless.................................
hotchip. says:
*a dick is sticking out from the side.
why? says:
=(
hotchip. says:
you like my body?
why? says:
ok lor....
hotchip. says:
(im supposed to be a guy full of himself)
why? says:
not bad... lol
hotchip. says:
dont you wish you could touch it?
why? says:
do u always go to the gym?
why? says:
....
hotchip. says:
yes. i like to look good. for girls like you. (:
why? says:
mmm...
why? says:
u have a nice chest....
hotchip. says:
you have a nice one too. (:
why? says:
wei.....
why? says:
dont cheeky ah........
hotchip. says:
you wana see something else?
why? says:
ok....
why? says:
mm..
why? says:
like what.....
hotchip. says:
something you'll like. inside you.
hotchip. says:
(omg. hahahaha. )
why? says:
(eh that one damn raw la wah lau hahahahahah too fast too furious alr)
why? says:
huh.....
why? says:
dont want...
why? says:
aiyo...
why? says:
wei...!!!
why? says:
dont show me!!
why? says:
dont!!
why? says:
*close eyes....
hotchip. says:
come on babyy. i promise you you'll like it.
why? says:
(assuming u already flashed ur member.)
why? says:
so long.............................................
hotchip. says:
(WTF! eh i didn say long lar! but whaever . )
hotchip. says:
you like it? can you see its really hard? *plays with his dick
why? says:
(im teasing u la cant u see hahaha)
why? says:
mmm....
why? says:
how come u're so hard...
why? says:
(women ask the dumbest questions hahahaha)
hotchip. says:
(but i dont ask you dumb questions do i????? hah)
hotchip. says:
im hard because you turn me on.
hotchip. says:
your eyes make me want you so much.
why? says:
wei....
why? says:
why are u stroking so fast........
why? says:
(eyes do not make guys horny. ....)
why? says:
u are so long.....
why? says:
longer than my bf... hehee....
hotchip. says:
(i know lar. im trying to trick the girl what. )
why? says:
(lol are u trying to tell me that girls are dumb asses haha)
hotchip. says:
so do you think you wanna suck mine anytime soon?
why? says:
erm.....
why? says:
i nv tried that before.......
why? says:
dont want la..~
hotchip. says:
(hello. the girl your impersonating now is freaking bimbotic lar. )
hotchip. says:
come on. try. you'll like it.
why? says:
(men like women like that hahahahaha... dumb ass virgins)
hotchip. says:
you havent try you wont know right?
why? says:
dont want!!!
why? says:
i tried my bf's...... didnt quite like it......
why? says:
dont force me can... pls....
why? says:
=(
why? says:
y cannot see ur face...................................................
hotchip. says:
but you like your bf's inside you ?
why? says:
('inside u' is a really... really.. lousy term haha)
why? says:
depends..........
why? says:
wei.. can dont talk abt this...?
why? says:
i want to see ur face.... pls..?
hotchip. says:
(how the fuck do i know im not a guy! tell me what to say lar! )
hotchip. says:
(hurhur)
why? says:
show me ur face can...?
why? says:
i dun want to see ur....
why? says:
(the more u dont want, the more i want to show u ... hur hurhur)
why? says:
hiyo.. u make me a bit wet le...~
hotchip. says:
(hahah)
hotchip. says:
you horny now?
why? says:
a bit.........
hotchip. says:
where do you stay?
why? says:
bukit batok...................
why? says:
(hahahahahahahahaah)
hotchip. says:
( ----.----)
hotchip. says:
really??? me too.
why? says:
huh.....
why? says:
where...
hotchip. says:
want to come over to my house? i pay for your cab fare. we watch movie. i cook for you.
hotchip. says:
(anyhow answer lar)
hotchip. says:
i live at the west side.
why? says:
huh.....
hotchip. says:
you want you want ?
why? says:
now ah..
hotchip. says:
ya. i will pay for your cab here. and i'll send you back.
why? says:
anybody at ur house now.....?
why? says:
u show me ur face first.......
why? says:
can?
hotchip. says:
nobody
why? says:
pls~
hotchip. says:
(am i suppose to 'show' the face? )
hotchip. says:
*trys avoiding the topic.
hotchip. says:
so you'll come?
why? says:
(show it la!!!!)
hotchip. says:
(OK LAR!)
why? says:
push ur cam higher pls......
hotchip. says:
*puts cam higher
why? says:
mm.....
why? says:
hello.....
why? says:
hehee...
why? says:
finally see ur face liao..........
hotchip. says:
*Waves. gives a dashing smile.
why? says:
aiyo.......
why? says:
but i need to go out at 3pm...
why? says:
(now is 12pm)
why? says:
some other day can...?
hotchip. says:
( wtf. you making my role difficult right. )
why? says:
(women are difficult! u think flirting for a guy is easy ah.. 'inside u' x 10 doesnt work hahaha)
why? says:
are u still.. er... touching urself......?
hotchip. says:
its okay. you come, i cook lunch for you. just spend some time together okay? i promise i'll send you back
hotchip. says:
(walao. fine lar. make my life easier can.)
why? says:
(normally the conver ends here la hahaha)
why? says:
sorry i gtg le... byee...
why? says:
~
why? says:
(see.. high and dry. women 1 men 0)
hotchip. says:
(walao. you make my guy like a loser. )